We have a dot....

After I had the pains last week, they did an ultrasound and sent me home with no pictures and orders to come back on Friday for another scan.  I was 5 weeks 5 days when this was taken and the doctor said I was measuring right on track although no heartbeat was visible yet.  He assured me not to worry because everything looks good.  Easier said than done!  We have another appointment tomorrow morning to check for a heartbeat and we'll be 6 weeks 5 days so we're keep our fingers crossed.  This is going to be such a nerve-wracking couple months but I know this is in the Lords hands and we continue to pray for this little one daily.  Hope to update with good news tomorrow!

BETA update...

I've been scarce, I know, but I'm wrapping up my fall semester and got back on night shifts so my days have been full of sleep!  

I went on Wednesday for BETA #2 and our results sent me in a panic....274.4.  That was only a 66% increase in 48 hours.  I was worried but our nurse said that was the low end of the normal range that they wanted to see.  We said some prayers and had another draw on Friday that came back at 617.8.  That's more than double in 48 hours so we breathed a little tiny sigh of relief.  Our nurse said they wanted me back today for another draw to make sure it was above 1000 and we went in this morning.

I had started having some right sided pain on Saturday and, of course, my mind immediately jumps to ectopic.  After my blood draw I told the nurse about it and they did a quick ultrasound.  There was a little black dot right in my uterus where they want it so the doctor gave us an early congratulations.  

The nurse called later this afternoon with my BETA numbers...1540 which she was happy with.  I had originally had my first ultrasound scheduled for Monday which would have been 6 weeks 1 day, but she wanted to move it up to Friday to check for a heartbeat because I had the pain.  I'm not really sure the logic behind that but maybe it's just to put my mind at ease.

I still worry and I know I shouldn't.  I don't think I'll actually calm down until I can feel him/her move or at least pick up a heart beat on my home doppler.  I know I'll breathe a little easier after Fridays ultrasound but this process never gets easier after a loss.  

We appreciate all the prayers and kind words of encouragement and I'm finding it so exciting that almost all the blogs I follow are celebrating BFPs as well!  

We're in constant prayer that this little one holds on for the long haul, but we are so grateful to have made it this far!

It's really happening...again...

With previous attempts at getting pregnant I always say, I'm not going to test.  And then I always do.  I chose not to lie to myself this time and planned to start testing on Thanksgiving at 11dpIUI.  I caved and tested on Wednesday night and got a super faint positive.  Well....that positive has gotten darker over the last few days and our greatest hopes were confirmed with a BETA today of 166 at 15dpIUI!!!  We are over the moon excited but trying to remain cautiously optimistic because the pain of our loss is fresh in our minds and hearts.  

Bill didn't even want to tell our parents until 12 weeks but mine already knew we had gone for another IUI, his didn't.  I've convinced him to tell them and the pastors and deacons at our church and wait to reveal to the rest of the world until after the first trimester.  I had to tell my boss, but only because as a nurse there are certain patients I should avoid caring for if I'm pregnant and the charge nurses will need to make assignments accordingly.  While it was kind of a burden telling everyone about our loss last time, I can't say that it really added to our pain.  I'm sure it would have hurt just as bad if we had to suffer through it alone.  If he decides that he's comfortable with letting the cat out of the bag sooner then I'm okay with it.  I figure the more people we allow to share in our joy the better and I don't want to be any less joyful for this baby than we were for Grace.  Besides, each person who is praising God for our joy will be there to pray for us in our sorrow should the Lord decide that this isn't our take home baby.  

While I knew in my head and my heart that He could make this happen for us, I'm still in awe that He did.  I'm so grateful for this gift and hope that I get to hold this little angel in August of 2014!!