Planning...

So we've obviously taken a pretty significant break from this whole baby making thing.  I started my senior semester of nursing school on Tuesday and my thoughts are already wandering to graduation and our plans to start a family after that.  There's no doubt that this is going to be a big year for us.  I'll graduate in May/June and we plan to start fertility treatments right after that.  I'll start the nursing internship at my hospital in July and, hopefully, we'll sell our house and building our new one will be well under way by the end of this calendar year.

DH and I have talked a lot about where we're going with treatments and how we're going to get there.  After two failed embryo adoptions last year that weren't covered by insurance, we're leaning towards IUI with donor sperm as that is covered by my new insurance company.  It's crazy to think that at the beginning of this journey, donor sperm was far out of the realm of possibility for us.  As it seems that God has closed the door to having a family through embryo adoption, those impossibilities start to seem doable.

I have so many apprehensions about this whole process and so many questions for both the doctor at our clinic and the cryobank where we'll be getting sperm.  Why didn't the FETs with donor embryo work?  We want a large family, but how many times is safe for me to go through all these treatments and medications?  How many children do they allow one sperm donor to father?  How are we going to explain this to our children?

I know I should be focusing on school right now, but I'd like to have a plan in place so that when it's go time...we're ready.  I've started tracking my cycles again and using OPKs so that I have some raw data to take to the doctor.  Since my insurance changed when I changed jobs in January of 2012, I've had to switch some doctors too...including my OB/GYN.  I scheduled an appointment with a practice that delivers at the hospital where I work and also a larger medical center in the area with a NICU.  I also went ahead and scheduled an appointment at our clinic to discuss our options and see if there's any additional testing they want done prior to moving forward.

I've started to peruse donors on the cryobank websites which really isn't all that different from trying to find embryos.  I just still have this feeling of guilt that if we are successful doing IUI with donor sperm, my husband will have mixed emotions.  He says that he won't, but I don't think you can really know something like that.  Nursing school has taught me that he and I can make it through anything so I have faith that we'll pull through this as well.

I have all intentions of keeping up with blogging again, but I guess we'll see how the semester plays out.  I'm sure I'll use my desire to document this journey as an excuse to procrastinate in school.  I swear, if I didn't have an impending deadline, I wouldn't get anything done!