...is so much worse when you know that at the beginning of it you were definitely pregnant! All the other 2wws were a bunch of wondering....did it work this month? Did we time it right? Should I have laid flat longer? I keep wondering if I'm having symptoms and then I have to remind myself that I'm artificially supplying myself with all of the things that my body would normally produce during pregnancy so I don't know if it's the meds or perhaps a baby (or two!) has decided to stick around?
My biggest complaint is heartburn/indigestion. I mean is it really possible for grits to give you heartburn???? Well, they did. And I feel nauseous a little off and on throughout the day, but again, maybe I'm psyching myself up about it or maybe it's just the meds.
I had my E2 labs drawn on Monday at my work (I work at a hospital). They were supposed to be STAT....we just got the results yesterday!!! The Core Lab got an ear full from me yesterday, let me tell you! It seems like every time I come here for blood work, something gets messed up! Anyway, my E2 level was at 925. I got a call from the nurse last night who said that everything is right where it should be, to continue on with my meds as is and wait for pregnancy labs on Thursday. Which I scheduled at Lapcorp, by the way. I couldn't stand to have them mess those up!
After we realized there would be some delay in the results I started praying that my levels were okay to sustain this pregnancy. Since we were supposed to know by Monday afternoon if any meds needed to be adjusted, I was super worried to be waiting until Thursday to find anything out. Once again, the dear Lord was looking down on me and alleviated my worries. He keeps showing up right when I need Him!!
I caved and took an HPT a few times and they all came back negative. I thought they would but I have a bunch left over that expire soon so there's no harm in using them up, right? ;) This time next week we'll have the final verdict....really wish I could press fast forward! My friend, Rachel, who I was blessed to meet through work directed me to a scripture passage that helped her through some difficult times recently. "The Lord is not slow to fulfill his promise as some count slowness, but is patient toward you..." (2 Peter 3:9). I've been trying to focus on the fact that a two week wait is like a blink for my God and all good things will come to those who wait for His will to be done.
Friday, April 29, 2011
Friday, April 22, 2011
Babies on board...
I was going to try to update from my phone but that's a lot harder than I thought i would be so I figured I'd wait until I was allowed out of bed to do some blogging. Everything went wonderfully yesterday and I only cried twice!
A while back, I had made the statement that coincidences are Gods way of remaining anonymous. Well, there were several indications that His hand was all over this process yesterday. As soon as we got there I was taken back for my massage and my masseuse's name was Todd. Todd was what my parents were going to name me if I had been a boy. While that wasn't one that brought me to tears I thought it was neat.
After my massage was over they took me to the procedure room for my acupuncture. The nurse got me situated and told me that Luke, my acupuncturist would be in in a minute. That's when I cried. The scripture verse that I've kept close to my heart through all of this is Luke 1:37 and I took this as good sign.
Right after we had decided on our profile, I asked our nurse if it was okay to write a letter to the donor family as long as it remains anonymous. She said that wouldn't be a problem so I e-mailed my nurse the letter yesterday morning. When we got to the clinic and finally met this woman who had answered all four million questions I had, she told me that she was so excited to send them the letter because they had asked to be informed when their embryos were chosen.
When I wrote the letter to the family I mentioned God and prayer as I usually would, but I wasn't sure how that would be received on their end. I just wasn't sure what kind of people they were. Could the biological parents of our child be non-believers? All of my doubts were put to rest when my nurse brought in the response e-mail she had gotten from our donor family. They said that they were typing through tears, that they had prayed for us and our family and were eternally grateful to us for giving their babies a chance at life. Having this letter immediately put my mind at ease. Knowing that they were faithful people and that our babies would have two more people praying for them along the way made me feel such relief. Oh, and I cried again!
DH came in with his little surgical hat and booties on and stayed with me through the transfer. The embryologist came in and showed us pictures of our babies. She graded one a 4AA and the other a 3BB. She explained that the number indicates how far along they are in the hatching process and the letters grade the quality of the cells. She said she was very optimistic about both, but of course the 4AA was her favorite. We're praying they both stick around!
The procedure took all of about 15 minutes and then Luke came back in to do another round of acupuncture. I kept those needles in for a half hour and then we were on our way. I was told to stay flat on my back in bed for 24 hours. That part was easier said than done! We stopped at Panera Bread and DH ran in to get some carry out on the way back. When we got back to the hotel I got into bed, ate and then napped the Valium off. I have some sciatic nerve issues on my left side so staying flat was super painful. When 11:00 this morning rolled around I was thrilled to get out of bed and get a shower!
The Dr. gave me an order for E2 blood work on Monday and then I'll go for my first BETA on May 5th. This is probably going to be the longest two week wait ever! All the other waits were praying that I was pregnant. This time around, I know I'm pregnant and I'm just praying to stay pregnant!
I'm still praying that His will be done and for the strength to get through whatever that will may be. I know I serve a gracious and merciful God who has a plan for our lives and I'm praying He makes that plan known.
A while back, I had made the statement that coincidences are Gods way of remaining anonymous. Well, there were several indications that His hand was all over this process yesterday. As soon as we got there I was taken back for my massage and my masseuse's name was Todd. Todd was what my parents were going to name me if I had been a boy. While that wasn't one that brought me to tears I thought it was neat.
After my massage was over they took me to the procedure room for my acupuncture. The nurse got me situated and told me that Luke, my acupuncturist would be in in a minute. That's when I cried. The scripture verse that I've kept close to my heart through all of this is Luke 1:37 and I took this as good sign.
Right after we had decided on our profile, I asked our nurse if it was okay to write a letter to the donor family as long as it remains anonymous. She said that wouldn't be a problem so I e-mailed my nurse the letter yesterday morning. When we got to the clinic and finally met this woman who had answered all four million questions I had, she told me that she was so excited to send them the letter because they had asked to be informed when their embryos were chosen.
When I wrote the letter to the family I mentioned God and prayer as I usually would, but I wasn't sure how that would be received on their end. I just wasn't sure what kind of people they were. Could the biological parents of our child be non-believers? All of my doubts were put to rest when my nurse brought in the response e-mail she had gotten from our donor family. They said that they were typing through tears, that they had prayed for us and our family and were eternally grateful to us for giving their babies a chance at life. Having this letter immediately put my mind at ease. Knowing that they were faithful people and that our babies would have two more people praying for them along the way made me feel such relief. Oh, and I cried again!
DH came in with his little surgical hat and booties on and stayed with me through the transfer. The embryologist came in and showed us pictures of our babies. She graded one a 4AA and the other a 3BB. She explained that the number indicates how far along they are in the hatching process and the letters grade the quality of the cells. She said she was very optimistic about both, but of course the 4AA was her favorite. We're praying they both stick around!
The procedure took all of about 15 minutes and then Luke came back in to do another round of acupuncture. I kept those needles in for a half hour and then we were on our way. I was told to stay flat on my back in bed for 24 hours. That part was easier said than done! We stopped at Panera Bread and DH ran in to get some carry out on the way back. When we got back to the hotel I got into bed, ate and then napped the Valium off. I have some sciatic nerve issues on my left side so staying flat was super painful. When 11:00 this morning rolled around I was thrilled to get out of bed and get a shower!
The Dr. gave me an order for E2 blood work on Monday and then I'll go for my first BETA on May 5th. This is probably going to be the longest two week wait ever! All the other waits were praying that I was pregnant. This time around, I know I'm pregnant and I'm just praying to stay pregnant!
I'm still praying that His will be done and for the strength to get through whatever that will may be. I know I serve a gracious and merciful God who has a plan for our lives and I'm praying He makes that plan known.
Thursday, April 21, 2011
Transfer day....
We're here!!! Needless to say, I didn't sleep very well so I decided to get up early and get ready and blog for a bit while DH is getting ready. The clinic called yesterday on our way down here and told us that the case before us was cancelled and that they'd bumped us up to 9:00. Works well for me! Thank God they didn't try to make it in the afternoon! I never would have made it all day.
I'm excited, but not really nervous. I'm wondering if that's normal? I'm still just floating along in my prayer bubble right now. There are so many people pulling for us that I feel sheltered from that negativity and hopefully not being stressed about it is good for the babies.
Speaking of babies, our little furbabies are staying with my parents while we're down here and I miss them terribly. It's weird how you miss the little things....patter of feet on the hardwood floor, someone to greet you when you get home, someone to stare at you while you're eating! I know they're having a blast with their grandparents, but I hope they're not getting spoiled too much!
Well, I'm signing off here so I can finish getting ready and wake DH up. I think I said it in the last post because I wasn't anticipating being able to blog this morning, but "Next time you hear from me I'll be PUPO!!"
I'm excited, but not really nervous. I'm wondering if that's normal? I'm still just floating along in my prayer bubble right now. There are so many people pulling for us that I feel sheltered from that negativity and hopefully not being stressed about it is good for the babies.
Speaking of babies, our little furbabies are staying with my parents while we're down here and I miss them terribly. It's weird how you miss the little things....patter of feet on the hardwood floor, someone to greet you when you get home, someone to stare at you while you're eating! I know they're having a blast with their grandparents, but I hope they're not getting spoiled too much!
Well, I'm signing off here so I can finish getting ready and wake DH up. I think I said it in the last post because I wasn't anticipating being able to blog this morning, but "Next time you hear from me I'll be PUPO!!"
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
Prayer bubble...
So we had an event tonight for the local business association and we invited two of our pastors and my in-laws pastor and his wife to come with us. Since we'll be leaving for VA tomorrow for the transfer, we asked if we could all take a minute and have them pray with us before we left. Standing there, holding hands in a circle outside all the commotion of this event were my in-laws, two of our pastors, their pastor and his wife and DH and I. Our pastor started off and each of them chimed in with there personal prayer for us.
I told DH on the way home that I feel like we're in a prayer bubble. We have so many wonderful people praying for us and for these babies that I feel protected from any disappointment and negativity. There will be people actually on their knees for us on Thursday morning and that means more to us than I can express in words!
We're starting to dream about names and nursery ideas. Maybe it's too soon, but I've been praying that God's will be done and if for some reason His will isn't the same as my will, I pray for peace to accept that He has another plan for us and will show us what that is. I'm still keeping Luke 1:37 close to my heart!
P.S.-My in-laws pastor informed me tonight that he'll be praying for triplets! I told him to bring it on!
I told DH on the way home that I feel like we're in a prayer bubble. We have so many wonderful people praying for us and for these babies that I feel protected from any disappointment and negativity. There will be people actually on their knees for us on Thursday morning and that means more to us than I can express in words!
We're starting to dream about names and nursery ideas. Maybe it's too soon, but I've been praying that God's will be done and if for some reason His will isn't the same as my will, I pray for peace to accept that He has another plan for us and will show us what that is. I'm still keeping Luke 1:37 close to my heart!
P.S.-My in-laws pastor informed me tonight that he'll be praying for triplets! I told him to bring it on!
PIO Injections...
...started on Saturday. Mom came over to walk DH through the whole thing and he did fine. It's so weird how they can be such tough guys until it comes to shooting their wife in the rear with a needle! The first injection site wasn't sore at all, but the one we did last night hurt a little more today. I think over the next few weeks we'll just have to find the right technique/position to decrease the ache.
I'm working the early shift tomorrow and as soon as I get off work we're heading to VA!! I heard from the clinic today and I have to be there at 9:30 Thursday morning. They'll do acupuncture, followed by a half hour massage, then I get to drink a ton of water to fill my bladder for the ultrasound guided transfer. After the transfer, I have to lay there for a half hour and let gravity do it's thing. The doctor told me that since I'll have a full bladder, she can insert a pediatric catheter to empty it for me. I think that's the only part I'm not looking forward to. I've never had a catheter to my knowledge and if I don't know about it then I must have been heavily sedated! The Dr. said they'll do another round of acupuncture after the transfer and then it's back to the hotel to relax. I'm kind of looking forward to the down time and as always, I love taking road trips with the hubby so that'll be fun too!
All prayers and well wishes are much appreciated! I'll be taking my laptop down with me but more for the purposes of Netflix than updating the blog, but who knows! The next time you hear from me I'll be PUPO!!!
I'm working the early shift tomorrow and as soon as I get off work we're heading to VA!! I heard from the clinic today and I have to be there at 9:30 Thursday morning. They'll do acupuncture, followed by a half hour massage, then I get to drink a ton of water to fill my bladder for the ultrasound guided transfer. After the transfer, I have to lay there for a half hour and let gravity do it's thing. The doctor told me that since I'll have a full bladder, she can insert a pediatric catheter to empty it for me. I think that's the only part I'm not looking forward to. I've never had a catheter to my knowledge and if I don't know about it then I must have been heavily sedated! The Dr. said they'll do another round of acupuncture after the transfer and then it's back to the hotel to relax. I'm kind of looking forward to the down time and as always, I love taking road trips with the hubby so that'll be fun too!
All prayers and well wishes are much appreciated! I'll be taking my laptop down with me but more for the purposes of Netflix than updating the blog, but who knows! The next time you hear from me I'll be PUPO!!!
Sunday, April 17, 2011
Finally met our doctor...
...and she is wonderful!!! I had my final monitoring ultrasound and blood work at my GYNs office on Wednesday and when my nurse got the results, she e-mailed me to say that my lining was a little too thin. It was measuring at 7.1 mm and they usually like it to be at least 8 mm. She said the Dr. wanted me to start the Estrace pills early and instead of taking them orally, she wanted me to do it vaginally twice a day. I started that Thursday afternoon when I got home from work and got the call from the clinic that they wanted us there at 7 am on Saturday for the catheter fitting! We were planning on driving down Saturday morning, but with the appointment being that early we didn't want to risk traffic, getting lost, etc. so we drove down on Friday and stayed at the hotel that we booked for Wednesday and Thursday night.
Needless to say, after the 7.1 mm measurement I got a little panicky. I wondered if this was a sign that this wasn't the right choice for us. I immediately called all my prayer partners and asked them to pray for my endometrial lining....odd request, I know! I didn't get much sleep Friday night. I seemed to be tossing and turning all night with worry. I woke up before the alarm on Saturday, got showered and woke up DH. After a pit stop at Dunkin' Donuts for a bagel, we arrived at the clinic.
I must admit, my first impressions weren't good at all and I wondered if we'd made the right choice. My wonderful nurse was off that day and, at first, the few staff members that we met seem kind of cold and abrupt. The ultrasound tech was kind of rough and the nurse that we met with wasn't as warm as I had hoped at first, but I think I was just reading her wrong because she was great by the end of the visit. They got me situated in stirrups and were getting the room set up when the Dr. walked in. I kind of planned on meeting her face to face before I was spread eagle in front of her, but whatever! I feel like I have no shame at this point!
She apologized for having to meet this way and informed us that my lining was measuring 12 mm!!! Thank you, Jesus! I can't describe the relief I felt at that point. She said everything looked perfect and my cervical mucus was "beautiful." Quite an odd compliment, but under the circumstances, I'll take it! I asked her if it was a nice shade of blue since the Estrace pills that I'd been inserting vaginally were blue. Since her first name is Robin she joked and said they at that clinic they call that "Robin Egg Blue!" Too cute!
The catheter fitting was quick and painless and she gave us a brief overview of what was going to happen on Thursday and we were on our way. I had been on the fence about whether or not to take their massage and acupuncture package on transfer day, but decided that I need to do everything in my power to give these embryos a chance so we let them know that we wanted that too.
This is going to be a long 3 days, but we'll be on the road after work on Wednesday. It's so cool that by this time next week, I'll be pregnant!! I pray that one or both of these little guys decide to make themselves at home and stick around for the next nine months! Praying for twins!!!
Needless to say, after the 7.1 mm measurement I got a little panicky. I wondered if this was a sign that this wasn't the right choice for us. I immediately called all my prayer partners and asked them to pray for my endometrial lining....odd request, I know! I didn't get much sleep Friday night. I seemed to be tossing and turning all night with worry. I woke up before the alarm on Saturday, got showered and woke up DH. After a pit stop at Dunkin' Donuts for a bagel, we arrived at the clinic.
I must admit, my first impressions weren't good at all and I wondered if we'd made the right choice. My wonderful nurse was off that day and, at first, the few staff members that we met seem kind of cold and abrupt. The ultrasound tech was kind of rough and the nurse that we met with wasn't as warm as I had hoped at first, but I think I was just reading her wrong because she was great by the end of the visit. They got me situated in stirrups and were getting the room set up when the Dr. walked in. I kind of planned on meeting her face to face before I was spread eagle in front of her, but whatever! I feel like I have no shame at this point!
She apologized for having to meet this way and informed us that my lining was measuring 12 mm!!! Thank you, Jesus! I can't describe the relief I felt at that point. She said everything looked perfect and my cervical mucus was "beautiful." Quite an odd compliment, but under the circumstances, I'll take it! I asked her if it was a nice shade of blue since the Estrace pills that I'd been inserting vaginally were blue. Since her first name is Robin she joked and said they at that clinic they call that "Robin Egg Blue!" Too cute!
The catheter fitting was quick and painless and she gave us a brief overview of what was going to happen on Thursday and we were on our way. I had been on the fence about whether or not to take their massage and acupuncture package on transfer day, but decided that I need to do everything in my power to give these embryos a chance so we let them know that we wanted that too.
This is going to be a long 3 days, but we'll be on the road after work on Wednesday. It's so cool that by this time next week, I'll be pregnant!! I pray that one or both of these little guys decide to make themselves at home and stick around for the next nine months! Praying for twins!!!
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
Endometrial Biopsy...
So sorry I haven't checked in sooner...although, I'm not sure anyone keeps up with me that closely! Anyway, vacation was wonderfully relaxing and allowed me to bond with some family members that we don't get to see as often as we'd like. I started the Lupron injections while we were down there and my aunt, the RN, asked if she could do the first injection so she could be a part of this process! How sweet!
As far as side effects go, I definitely have a greater appreciation for menopausal women after starting the Lupron! Night sweats and hot flashes like you wouldn't believe! Other than that, I haven't noticed any other adverse effects which is good.
I had the endometrial biopsy, vaginal cultures (to check for STDs) and my annual PAP done when I got back on 3/30. The Dr. had told me to take 800mg of Motrin before I came....I forgot! I thought I had some in my purse...I was mistaken! Going into this, I was thinking that it would be just like the other procedures I had done and that I would experience some cramping, but nothing unbearable. While I wouldn't go so far as to say it was unbearable...it was certainly more uncomfortable than the previous tests!
I got a call from my GYNs office today and they informed me that my insurance company didn't have an authorization for all the testing that we've been doing. Mind you, I have ONE more appointment for blood work and an ultrasound next week and that's the last thing that I need done before the transfer. I'm not sure why this is just being addressed now, but I'm not thrilled in the least. On top of that, the insurance company won't let me speak to anyone in care management about any of this because I'm not the doctors office! Ugh!
On a completely unrelated topic, we had a women's retreat this past weekend with my church and I had an amazing time!! I was able to form some new friendships and nurture some existing ones and most importantly spend time with the Lord and learning His word and what he expects of me as a Christian woman. We truly are blessed to have found such a wonderful church family!!
As far as side effects go, I definitely have a greater appreciation for menopausal women after starting the Lupron! Night sweats and hot flashes like you wouldn't believe! Other than that, I haven't noticed any other adverse effects which is good.
I had the endometrial biopsy, vaginal cultures (to check for STDs) and my annual PAP done when I got back on 3/30. The Dr. had told me to take 800mg of Motrin before I came....I forgot! I thought I had some in my purse...I was mistaken! Going into this, I was thinking that it would be just like the other procedures I had done and that I would experience some cramping, but nothing unbearable. While I wouldn't go so far as to say it was unbearable...it was certainly more uncomfortable than the previous tests!
I got a call from my GYNs office today and they informed me that my insurance company didn't have an authorization for all the testing that we've been doing. Mind you, I have ONE more appointment for blood work and an ultrasound next week and that's the last thing that I need done before the transfer. I'm not sure why this is just being addressed now, but I'm not thrilled in the least. On top of that, the insurance company won't let me speak to anyone in care management about any of this because I'm not the doctors office! Ugh!
On a completely unrelated topic, we had a women's retreat this past weekend with my church and I had an amazing time!! I was able to form some new friendships and nurture some existing ones and most importantly spend time with the Lord and learning His word and what he expects of me as a Christian woman. We truly are blessed to have found such a wonderful church family!!
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